Luckily for Butler, her book doesn't make that point at all. The humans think that they're free of the dangers the Oankali foresee for them, and should be free of Oankali manipulation. The Oankali don't at all agree; they think of humans as essentially genetically insane, and won't abandon them for the same reason that you wouldn't let an insane person hold a gun to his head. You're free to choose just about any perspective. Butler doesn't make the Oankali out to be completely sympathetic.
Russ doesn't give a prescription for making new myths. The main point of the essay is to encourage people to try and make them, rather than just saying, "Oh, well, women can write male characters!"