Damn. I never noticed that. It's such a surprising blind spot, as well, considering her very positive attitude in general to sexuality and gender.
It took me a while to notice, too, and I honestly thought it might be coincidence until we got Dust with its woman-preferring main character.
And I would agree that she has a very positive attitude in general to sexuality and gender...which makes me think that this is the result of a personal issue rather than a general distrust or dislike of female sexuality. In general I've come to think Bear's novels are a little too focused on celebrating the male, but I like most of her female characters.